Sometimes I see straight women posting and I’m like hmmm okay I can see why some straight men are driven insane without necessarily being like Andrew Tate psychos
Oh there’s so many of these
The feminine trait of *checks notes* wanting to stay hydrated
… And you hid it in the tags ?
We have GOT to keep making fun of cis women who act like this. It’s the only way we can move forward
I cannot stress this enough, write it poorly. Write the shittiest draft you possibly can, stick ‘ah fuck something happens here and now they’re fighting’ to get over
Write the worst fucking version you possibly can and stick it in a folder and forget it for a month or two before you look at it again. You know what you have now?
A first draft. And with enough time to think some new thoughts about it, you’ll soon end up with a better, second draft! And eventually, you’ll end up with something you’d be perfectly okay with letting other people read!
You’ll never believe this process works no matter how many times you do it, but it totally does. You just have to drag your brain kicking and screaming to that blank page and get the bones down first.
we all love ea-nasir on here but i’d like to give a special shoutout to hegestratos, a greek merchant in the 4th century bc who tried to commit insurance fraud using his ship and fucked it up so bad he drowned
i mean i went to the beach that makes you old and im still the same age. down to the minute actually. it’s kind of creepy but i also found this cool horseshoe crab that gets uglier when i sin
Sometimes I feel like I’m missing out because my kinks aren’t weirdly specific enough. The folks who get off on the most narrowly contrived scenarios always seem to be having the most fun.
People are out there like “I’m a naughty little cube and I need you to tell me my axes of symmetry are cute and multifarious” and having a fantastic time with it, and I’m just over here sucking dick like an idiot.
Good news: if you’re currently laying around and not producing anything, you are a credit to your species.
It’s recently been found that even hive insects rest. Bees will play with colorful toys. Ants sleep for about 1 minute but they do it so frequently it amounts to a few hours per day. Even trees take breaks.
The only things that work without rest are machines; literally everything that lives requires rest.
EVERYTHING THAT LIVES REQUIRES REST. STOP JUDGING YOURSELF FOR NOT BEING A ROBOT.
And even machines need to rest all the time. Even unfeeling blobs of steel need maintenance, upkeep, and care. They need to be turned of every now and then to cool down.
im trying to go to sleep but i cannotttttt stop thinking about this and laughing
Listen, we have to keep this thing circulating on the internet for at least another two decades, because I have to believe that one day that little girl will be grown enough to stumble upon it and She Will Explain
Tumblr is unique bc like. It’s collaborative shitposting and you can’t opt in or out. You can just say something about your day then an evil wizard shows up to turn your post into something humorous
Every other site is just one and done, but here a post is a welcome mat to be funnier than you
yeah or sometimes you’ll see a post that hacks into your brain and forever rewrites your instinctual reaction to seeing a pineapple explode
